Nangijala
by brokenlovesong
Summary: After being married for a few years Blaine and Kurt decide that it's time: they want a baby. After long times struggle they're blessed with a beautiful girl. But when she's 3 and they're told that she's sick. This is their last hours with their daughter.


**Note:** if you are not familiar with the story about Nangijala, from Astrid Lindgren's book _The Brother's Lionheart_. you should read it. It's really beautiful. It's on wikipedia

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way a doctor, and I can only write from my own experiences.

* * *

"So there's nothing we can do from here on?" Kurt asked the doctor and Blaine could feel his fingers trembling in his own. The doctor shook his head with a sympathetic expression, watching their faces to observe their reaction.

"Unfortunately not. I'm gonna prescribe some medicine that will take he worst pain away and then you can take her home tonight. I am very sorry for you," he doctor said apologetically.

Pain was screaming in the back of Blaine's head and if he hadn't known that Kurt would need him he would have walked out without as much as looking back. Fortunately Kurt nodded at the doctor who left and then he turned to Blaine who couldn't hold the tears back anymore. They spilled and he started sobbing. Kurt put his arms around his crying husband and dragged him in so he could cry into his hair himself.

"Baby, we need to be strong for her. She needs her dads right now," Kurt whined and Blaine knew that he was struggling to return to normal and not let despair take over.

**xXx**

When Kurt and Blaine were 25 they decided that it was time. Kurt was about to turn 26, they had been together for nearly 10 years, and married for three of these. They wanted a baby, they needed a baby to complete their life. They craved someone they could share their love with and for. It only felt like the next natural step to fulfill their dreams.

They found a surrogate. A sweet woman their age. They didn't know her, but had a kind agency helping them through the process of going over resumes and in the end having meetings with the different possible women.

It was hard and expensive. Firstly it was a war battle to even find someone that would help a gay couple, and then they needed to find someone they found suitable and trustworthy enough.

But after a few months they found her and they took up a new battle which turned out to be even harder than they had imagined. After two times trying to get her inseminated they tried one more time but without luck.

Blaine gave up.

"Maybe we're just not meant to have a baby," he cried after they had got the message that nothing had helped this time either.

They were both heartbroken and tired to the core. They wanted it so badly, and they didn't care whether it was a boy or a girl or if the child was sick in some way. They just wished for a baby that could be theirs together - something to make their family complete.

They cried together the entire night. Called in sick the next day and then cried some more. Kurt kept begging him to agree to try one more time - he couldn't let it be over for them.

"Please Blaine. Don't give up now. I don't believe that you could not be meant to have a baby - one day we're going to have a beautiful boy or a girl and you will be the best father in the world. Please, baby, one more time -" Kurt pleaded, but Blaine shook his head and tried to wipe his tears away, a lost battle of trying to stop the endless stream of tears on his face.

Again they stayed in bed the entire day, curled up around each other. In the end Kurt took up the idea of adoption, but Blaine felt it unconquerable. The heartache was too much, and he couldn't wrap his brain around the thought of going through the process of adoption - a gay couple of theirs had adopted, and their life had been completely ripped to pieces by interviews, observations, lack of people willing to give their child to a gay couple and the feeling of hopelessness.

The next morning they woke up from the phone ringing. Kurt left the bed to answer it, and Blaine hid under the covers, determined not to talk to anyone. If he did they would all ask if there was any news, and if he left the house he would see children everywhere reminding him that he would never have his own.

Kurt crawled back under the covers and forced Blaine's arm around him. He folded his arm around Blaine's waist and let his left hand up to cup his face. He kissed his tears away and brushed his cheek gently.

"Blaine. They made a mistake. It worked this time. We're having a baby. Blaine, we're going to be dads." He fought hard not to cry while giving Blaine the message, but his voice broke when he saw Blaine's face slowly transform from miserable to confused and into starry eyes.

They were along the pregnancy every step of the way. They went to all the ultrasound scans, shopped with their surrogate and turned the upstairs guest room into a nursery together. Kurt even helped painting and didn't even complain when he found that his hair was filled with dry paint clutching it up.

When they got the message that they were having a girl they were thrilled. Kurt and Rachel hurried out to go overboard in dress shopping. It was completely over the top, but Blaine couldn't even get mad at him for having spent way too much money on a designer dress for a toddler. He was simply too happy, and to see Kurt this happy as well took away all gray clouds they had ever seen.

Due date came and their girl was brought into the world without problems. They got to take her home and neither of them slept for two nights because they were too absorbed in watching her. They named her Kayla because Kurt thought it fit so well with Blaine's features in her; she had big, brown eyes, impossibly long eyelashes and soft, dark curls. She was simply perfect.

Until she turned 3.

She had been sick up and down for two months. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong, which made Kurt angry and frustrated. He was pacing the floors of their house, mumbling curses under his breath and calling around to every doctor and specialist he could find. Blaine kept asking him to calm down and say that it probably wasn't anymore than a virus - after all, there had been a lot of viruses going around the kindergarten lately.

The doctors ran some tests, and then they ran some more, and further more until one September afternoon they were called into the doctor's office like so many times before to get the latest results. Kayla was with Finn and Rachel so they wouldn't bring her back to the hospital; she was tired and they wanted to let her sleep, so Rachel had offered to let pick her up, before they left for their appointment.

"_I am very sorry to tell you this but your daughter is very sick. Kayla has leukemia_."

Their world broke down. Right then and there. The words were echoing in Blaine's head. Over and over again. He didn't cry and neither did Kurt. They thanked the doctor for his time, and he promised to send a letter with the name of the specialist they would see next and a time for the meeting.

The next weeks, months, were filled with doctors, tests, scans, x-rays and lots of other things that Blaine hadn't even heard about before.

Kayla were brave. She took everything strongly and her only request was to have her daddies with her. They were. Both of them made sure to be present at every single appointment. She not as much as winced when the doctors took their endless tests. She merely clenched her dad's hand a little tighter and smiled at the doctor, even though Kurt had to look away or hide his face against Blaine's shoulder on several occasions.

It had now been a year. She had been in and out of the hospital multiple times and by now she had been there permanently for a month. It was also a month ago the doctor had said the words Blaine had most feared to hear. He had feared them so much that he hadn't even told Kurt about how much they were haunting his nightmares, even though he knew that Kurt had the nightmares too.

"We're very sorry, but the cancer is too strong now. I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do at this point."

Kurt still hadn't cried. Blaine had released Kurt's hand and walked out of the office. He drove to the gym and fought so hard against the punching bag that he was sure his knuckles were about to pulverize inside his gloves, while tears were floating down his face. He felt horrible for having left Kurt behind like that, but Kurt already knew that Blaine needed the outlet for his frustration or he would be a mess and they would fight and scream at each other in frustration.

He was sick of people telling them that they were sorry when they didn't do anything to make her better, when they didn't save her.

He had returned to the hospital as soon as he had showered. He found Kurt sitting next to Kayla in her bed reading the same book to her that he had been reading her since she was old enough to understand it. Blaine sat down on the chair and watched them, listened and kept himself in check. The second Kayla was asleep they both broke down in each other's arms.

**xXx**

A week ago Kayla had started asking when she could go home. She was missing her room and the smell of their house. A night Blaine told Kurt that he thought they should take her home - the least they could do was to let her be where she felt home and safe.

At first Kurt was against it, but after a few days he agreed and they talked to the doctor. He said that it was a good idea, and they arranged it. Now they had packed her stuff and was ready to take her home, but Kurt had asked one more time if there was something they could do themselves. Nothing. Except for trying to make her last time as good as possible.

They got her dressed and wrapped her in a blanket. Kurt took the wheel and Blaine let her sit on his lap all the way home. She was yawning and her head was bobbing against his collarbone but it was clear that she was fighting to stay awake.

"It's okay, sweetheart. You can sleep. When you wake up you will be home," Blaine cooed and kissed her hair. He squeezed his grip around her a little tighter and Kurt smiled at them from the driver's seat. It was nearly dark and Blaine knew that it would be a long night - but that was the only nights they had had over the past year.

When they came home Blaine started carrying Kayla upstairs. She was fast asleep and he didn't want to wake her up. When he reached the top Kurt led him in the direction of their bedroom instead of to her own and Blaine was glad because he didn't want anything but have his daughter in his bed so he could wrap his arm around her and keep her safe.

She didn't even wake up when he put her in their bed. She kept on sleeping, looking more peaceful than she had done in her hospital bed, and Blaine felt a sort of relief running through him. If it couldn't be any other way he wanted her to feel peaceful.

"She didn't brush her teeth," Kurt commented when they were in the bathroom getting ready for bed themselves. They hadn't talked about it, but made a silent agreement to go to bed even though it was only 20.30 - they didn't want to leave her alone, but mostly they wanted as much time with her as possible, before…

"We'll brush 'em in the morning," Blaine said and rested his head against the tiles while he watched Kurt clean his face. Sometimes when he watched Kurt go over the different cleansing products and moisturizers he felt like pushing his hands away and do it for him. It seemed like such a boring, every-day-boring, thing to do - but when he watched Kurt do it, it became intimate and personal, and until now it was the only thing he didn't have part in in Kurt's life.

Kurt nodded and dried his face without a towel before he grabbed Blaine's hand. He led them out of the bathroom, over the soft carpet and to their bathroom on the other side of the hall. Blaine was supposed to go to the other side of the bed, his side, but they stood there for minutes and watched their sleeping daughter.

If they hadn't known it they would never have guessed that she was sick. She was spread over the bed like a starfish; her head on Kurt's pillow, her legs on Blaine's side, her left arm hugging Kurt's side of the covers and her right hugging Blaine's pillow. The way she always slept in their bed when they weren't there.

"It's good to have her home," Blaine said, his voice so low that it was nearly a whisper. He felt Kurt squeeze his hand and before he knew it Kurt was in his arms. They rested their cheeks against each other as they watched her and heard her silent snoring fill the dimmed light of the room.

"Yeah. I missed having her here so much," Kurt whispered back, and let a thumb slide under the hem of Blaine's vest. He let it brush carefully over Blaine's back, his shirt feeling horribly in the way, because somehow it felt like Kurt was 2000 miles away from him.

It had been awful while Kayla had been in the hospital. They had agreed that they couldn't leave her there alone, naturally. So they did their best to be with her, both of them - but they had to go to work every now and then, so the one going to work would go home and get a few hours of sleep while the other stayed in the hospital. Mostly both of them stayed there though, and they took turns on sleeping next to her in her hospital bed. Now they would get to crawl back into their own bed with each other and with Kayla between them - what they had wished to do for 28 days.

They started pulling off their clothes and drag their pajamas on. Kurt carefully collected Kayla's limbs and moved her to the middle of the bed before he laid down next to her. He put his arm around her and she quickly grabbed around his wrist and pulled his arm so she could cuddled it like a teddy. As soon as Blaine was down on her side she grabbed his arm as well and they could lock their fingers together while she had their arms in a tight grip.

Everything was as it used to be. Except nothing was.

**xXx**

"Daddy. I'm cold," Kayla mumbled against Blaine's shoulder, and he could feel her eyelashes flutter against the bared skin of his collarbone. Somehow she had managed to shuffle to nearly lie on top of him in his arms over night.

When he opened his eyes he found Kurt's side empty and the covers were almost at the foot of the bed. No wonder she was cold. He moved her carefully around and let her fall to lie next to her so he could put the covers back over her.

"Is that better, Starfish?" he asked her and put his arm back around her. She nodded at him and stared directly in his eyes.

"I think daddy Kurt is making breakfast for us. If we pretend that we're still asleep he may not make us help," she whispered, and Blaine could see that she was struggling not to giggle at her own cleverness.

"Yeah, good idea. But then he'll make us do the dishes," Blaine whispered back at her and booped his nose against hers. She hid her mouth in her hand and giggled, her chocolate eyes booming with stars and Blaine felt his heart grow.

"Shhh, don't give him any good ideas," she mumbled at him.

"Any good ideas about what? Are you two making devious plans behind my back?" Kurt's voice sounded from the door, and Kayla hurried to hide under the covers, nearly crawling back on top of Blaine as she tried killing her laugh against his chest.

Kurt snuck his way back under the sheets and put his arm around both of them, his arm almost not long enough to reach Blaine, but Blaine quickly found him and locked his hand around his wrist. Kurt dug his nose into Kayla's hair, kissed her neck and she let her eyes peek back over the edge of the sheets.

"Daddy, I'm cold. I'm cold, daddy," Kayla said again, but this time she was whimpering, and it seemed like her voice was coming from far away, when suddenly he felt Kurt rush to sit up in the bed.

It was a dream. He had been lying there joking with Kayla and Kurt had joined them and she had been happy and healthy - but it had been a dream.

Before he even got to open his eyes he felt Kurt wrap a blanket over both of them and come back to bed. He fumbled a little around until he found Blaine's hand.

"Are you better now, beautiful?" Kurt asked Kayla, and she nodded at him. Blaine opened his eyes to see Kurt place a soft kiss on her forehead, and he let his head fall back to the pillow.

"I missed our house," she whispered, her voice rasp and vague. Kurt let his hand up to brush a curl away from her eyes, and Blaine wondered whether they had even realized that he was awake. But it didn't matter, because this moment was precious and he didn't want to ruin it.

"We missed having you home, sweetheart," Kurt cooed at her.

"Blaine, are you awake?" He asked and pulled Kayla a little closer, Blaine automatically moving closer himself.

"Barely. But… yes, I'm awake," Blaine mumbled back, and let his nose into Kayla's hair to get a chance to kiss her cheek. Her skin was ice cold and it scared him.

Kurt had been terrified that she would lose her hair when she started treatments. "_Her curls are too beautiful to disappear_" he cried and Blaine had to calm him down without knowing what to say because he felt the exact same way. They had been blessed, though, and her curls stayed. They were lifeless and free of shine, but they were still there nonetheless.

Kayla moved carefully around so she was on her back with a clear view to both of her dads. She looked at them for a little while and locked her hands around their index fingers. They sent each other glances over her, and Blaine wished that they could stay there forever - he didn't want to think of the future. Because she didn't have a future.

"Daddies… can I - stay in my own room today? I miss my bed. But I don't wanna be alone," she asked in a way that seemed like she didn't want to hurt their feelings.

"Of course you can, Starfish. We'll move you to your bed and then daddy Kurt and I can stay on the beanbag next to your bed. How does that sound?" Blaine assured her and Kurt smiled appreciatively at him. When she asked the question stress had spread over his face, and Blaine couldn't blame him; the thought of her leaving their bed was terrifying, because that way it would be harder for them to stay with her.

Kurt carried her downstairs and wrapped her in a bunch of blankets. While Kurt made breakfast Blaine stayed with her on the couch watching cartoons. As soon as they were done Kurt curled up on the couch with them, and they stayed there for an hour.

When Kayla started complaining about being cold again Blaine scooped her up and carried her to her own room. She was happy to be back in her own sheets, and it only took her a second to pick up her favorite elephant plush and squeeze it as hard as her weak arms could muster. She had brought it to the hospital with her, but having it at home were apparently something different.

They took turns on reading and singing to her. They only left her side for bathroom visits, getting food or water, or when the phone rang.

Finn and Rachel promised to stop by the next day, and they had already promised Blaine's parents and brother that they could come over the upcoming Saturday. Burt and Carole had said that they would come as soon as possible and then stay for a few days to make it easier for them, which was a great relief.

**xXx**

They had both known that they wouldn't be alone with this. Kayla was the centre of love of their entire combined families. Whenever she was with Finn and Rachel she was their Star. Rachel would watch musicals with her and promised to help her be a great singer one day.

Blaine had felt blessed from the way Cooper had welcomed her - he had fallen in love with her the second he laid eyes on her. She was his Princess, and both Blaine and Kurt knew that he would let her get away with anything and she was constantly drenched in presents from her uncle.

Burt and Carole always offered to take her off their hands if they needed time alone. However, they knew that it was because they missed her and loved having her over. It was the same way with Blaine's parents and they had even got her own room in their house.

**xXx**

It felt like evening was over them quickly. Kayla had drifted in and out of sleep over the entire afternoon and they had let her. Whenever she was asleep Blaine and Kurt would hold each other and struggle not to cry.

"She looks so fragile. Like she can break any second," Blaine whispered as they watched her curled up around her elephant. She had lost a lot of weight, and it made her cheeks seem sunken and her clothes lie baggy over her bones.

"She's not. She's strong. Our little fighting star," Kurt crooned and brushed a hand over Blaine's cheek. He tried smiling bravely at his husband, but it mostly turned out as a feigned grimace.

Blaine sniffed and let his face drop to rest in Kurt's hand. The atmosphere in the room was pressuring, and even though her dolls were neatly arranged on the shelf under her books, and her dresses were decorating one of the walls on a hanger in different colors the atmosphere in the room were pressing on Blaine's chest.

Kurt leaned in to kiss his cheek, and further on to let his lips meet Blaine's mouth. It was comforting to feel that regardless of how much their life had been turned upside down Kurt's lips were still the same against his - his kiss was still the same loving, gentle touch as it always had been.

"Daddies… will you turn on my nightlight? I don't like the dark," Kayla's voice sounded and they hurried to break apart.

"Of course, love," Kurt assured her and turned on the lamp on her nightstand that threw a dimmed light over her face on the pillow.

**xXx**

She had always been afraid of the dark. She said that she didn't know what was hiding in the shadows, and it was scary. They had taken her out to pick out her own lamp, and they promised to let her door be open with the lights on in the hall when they put her to bed at night. Sometimes she would come crawling into their bed saying she was scared, but they both knew that every now and then it was mostly because she liked to sleep in their bed with them.

In the beginning Kurt had said that they shouldn't let her sleep in their bed. He didn't want her to end up being afraid to be alone, and Blaine thought it made sense. They quickly broke though. They had her sleeping in her crib in their room until she turned two, then they decided that she should be in her own room. But the first time they heard her wake up and cry they let her sleep between them with the promise that this was the only time - something they said every time she woke up crying, and following when she came staggering down he hall.

She would tiptoe down the lit hall with her elephant clenched to her chest. Their door was always slightly open so they could hear her, so all she had to do was push it properly open. She would stand in the artificial light streaming into the room from the hall and stare at them until one of them woke up.

"Can I sleep with you? I had a bad dream," she would say. Always the same. She took a step towards the bed as she waited for an answer, but it only took them a second to register what was going on before they would get out of the bed and pick her up.

"Come 'ere, angel. Can't have you having bad dreams," Kurt would whisper as he carried her to the bed and let carefully fall so she could snuggle into Blaine before he laid back down himself.

Blaine didn't think Kurt knew but he was always awake when it happened, even though Kurt was over to pick her up. He would quickly fold his arm around her, and drag her close to make sure she felt protected.

"Shhh, don't wake up daddy Kurt," Blaine would whisper to her when he was the one to pick her up. He would kiss her nose and then her elephant before he would let her down on the bed and she would crawl under Kurt's arm.

"One day when you're old enough I'll teach you to fight off the bad dreams. For now you'll have to let me do it for you," Blaine would whisper to her when he was back in the bed next to her.

"Thank you," she would whisper and grin at him before putting his arm around her, making sure his hand would collide with Kurt's.

Blaine would never forget a night she had been in their bed and he had been having a nightmare himself. He had rushed to sit up in the bed, sweat breaking out on his forehead and tears pressing at his eyes.

He had dreamed that he had found Kurt and Kayla completely mutilated in their bed. Everything was stanched in blood and their eyes were open and glasslike - cleared of all life and a person in head-to-toe black looking at them from the corner of the bedroom.

"Shhh, daddy. It was only a dream," she had whispered at him, and Kurt had hurried to sit up next to her. He had looked confused but switched to worried in a split-second.

All Blaine could do was scoop her up in his arms and cry into her hair. He didn't want to scare her, but he couldn't help himself. He was clenching her to his chest with one hand squeezing Kurt's.

She didn't get scared though. She wrapped her arms around him and waited for him to calm down. Kurt squeezed back and let his free hand stroke up and down Blaine's arm and Kayla's back.

"Are you okay, Blaine?" He had asked nervously, but Blaine had just nodded and assured him that he was fine. He left the bed to go get a glass of water and when he returned he was sure that both Kurt and Kayla was back asleep.

He fell back to his spot and closed his eyes, hoping that he would be able to go back to sleep again, even though he was doubting it.

"Daddy Blaine - I think I'm old enough to fight your bad dreams off now," Kayla whispered and kissed his forehead. He opened his eyes to find her face so close that he could feel her breathing on his lips, and he had to fight to not let the tears take over again. Only this time because he felt so blessed by his beautiful little girl and his beautiful husband.

**xXx**

Kayla put her arm over the side of the bed, and both Blaine and Kurt knew instinctively that she wanted them to hold her hand. So they locked their fingers together with her hand between and they could feel her slowly relax.

"Daddies… I'm scared," she mumbled, her voice nearly gone from the pillow almost taking up her face.

"Don't be, honey. There's nothing to be scared of," Kurt assured her, and Blaine could feel him tighten his grip a little more.

"Daddy Kurt - do you think I'll go to that place from the book?" she asked, and they knew she was referring to the book Kurt always read to her.

**xXx**

When she had been born and they had got to take her home Kurt had found out an old book he had never showed Blaine before. He had told that his mom had read it to him when he was little and when she died he had never wanted to listen to it again, but when he had moved out of his dad's house to move in with Blaine he had insisted that Kurt took the book with him. Now he was ready to share the book with his daughter.

**xXx**

"I am sure you will. It will be beautiful, I promise you," Kurt said weakly, his voice threatening to break and Blaine smiled encouraging at him.

"Will you tell me about it again?" She asked, sounding like she wanted to know, but didn't want to upset them by asking. It was a strike to the faith, after all, but when they had gotten the message a month ago they quickly found out that she was well aware of what was going on around her, so they had agreed to embrace it, marveling at her wit.

Kurt looked to Blaine for moral support, and he nodded assuring at him, silently promising to take over if he couldn't go through with the story. Kurt drew a heavy breath and looked at his baby girl.

"It's this beautiful place. It's over the clouds, beyond the stars, and it's beautiful. It's where all the songs and fairy tales comes from - because that is where they all happen."

Kayla's eyes were wide and aware as she listened to Kurt tell about the fairy tale place he had told her about so many times, only this time seemed different. Blaine couldn't help letting his eyes drift from his daughter to his husband, absorbing every word floating from Kurt's mouth and every movement of Kayla's features as she took it in. It was like a new kind of peace had fallen over them.

"You will come to Cherry Valley. A gorgeous place with birds and cats and all kinds of wild animals waiting for you to play with. It will be summertime and you can wear all the pretty dresses you want," Kurt continued.

"I don't wanna be alone, daddy," Kayla whispered quietly.

"You won't be alone, sweetheart. Your grandmother, my mom, will wait for you. She'll be there with you and take care of you. I promise you won't be alone. And there will be thousands of other kids for you to play with. You may even get your own horse like the boys in the book," Kurt promised her, and Blaine knew that he was hoping that his voice sounded steadier than he felt it.

"Do you think I can have unicorn?" A slight smile spread over her lips, and the stars they had missed for so long peeked out in her eyes.

"Sure, baby. I bet there'll be lots of unicorns waiting for you," Kurt chuckled with a thick voice.

"But… I don't wanna leave you. I wanna stay with you forever." Her voice turned sad, and tears started brimming in her eyes. Blaine had to close his own eyes, afraid that if he started crying he would only upset her further.

"It's okay, Starfish. You will have long summer nights of exciting adventures, and you will have so much fun that you won't even have time to miss us," Blaine crooned and let his free hand stroke her hair.

"But - I don't think I'm strong enough to fly over the stars. And what if I get scared on the way?" She asked, her voice piercing into Blaine's heart.

"Oh honey, you are so big and strong - much stronger than me. Don't forget that. And you have all your daddy Kurt's courage, so you will be there before you know it. And if you get lost I am sure there will be a star to show you the way," Blaine assured her as convincing as possible.

He could feel Kurt's eyes linger on him, and he wanted to return his gaze - but the most important thing was to let Kayla know that she would be safe.

"Will you come too? Some day?" Suddenly it occurred to Blaine that this was the question that she had been waiting to ask since Kurt started telling his story, and it was like his heart crumpled up in his chest.

"Sure. One day you will hear a knock on your door and you can just take our hands and show us the way. It will be before you know it, and just remember that even if we're not with you, you can just look at the moon and the stars and know that we're looking at the same moon and stars, so if there's anything you want to tell us, you can just tell them and they will let us know," Blaine said, biting his lower lip.

"I will wait for you. I won't forget you, daddies." Kayla yawned, and turned his head to look out her window where a crescent moon surrounded by stars and clouds were shining over their lawn.

"We'll never forget you either. Never," Kurt said through a broken voice, and sent her loving smile.

"I think I'll sleep a little now. Goodnight, daddies," she mumbled dozy and squeezed their hands.

They took on kissing her forehead with a silent "_I love you_" each before they leaned back against one another to watch her fall asleep.

"I love you too, daddies," Kayla muttered, her words nearly drowning in a yawn.

They stayed silently watching over her for a while. In some time she dragged her hand away from theirs, but not before she had brushed their hands lightly so she could drag it under the covers. Kurt put an extra blanket over her before they both stood up to stretch their legs while she was asleep.

They walked to the hall, leaving the door open so they could be there instantly if she woke up. They both strolled up and down the carpet with slow steps before Kurt grabbed around Blaine's wrist and dragged him into a warm embrace.

"I love you. Don't… don't let me fall," Blaine whispered, tears back to strolling down his cheeks, but now he didn't care. He couldn't let it all stay in anymore. It was like it was a simmering volcano that had been building up lava, and he only got to let out a few spurts every now and then - and he knew when the real explosion would hit him, but he refused to so much as think about it.

"I won't, Blaine. You keep me up," Kurt assured him through light kisses on his neck, and Blaine could feel Kurt's tears soak the shoulder of his t-shirt.

"Thank you. For what you said. I'm no braver than you, though," Kurt mumbled and grabbed a handful of his shirt, his cheek resting on Blaine's shoulder.

They were both nearly whispering. It was almost as if they were afraid to get caught if they spoke too loud. But in some way it was comforting.

"You are. She's got all your courage. Our brave, girl," Blaine objected softly and pulled away to place a gentle kiss on Kurt's lips.

"Let's go in to get a little sleep ourselves," Kurt sniffed and dried away one of Blaine's tears.

They locked their hands and returned to Kayla's room where they snuggled close on the beanbag with a thick layer of blankets over them. As soon as they were comfortable it was only a few minutes before Kayla found her hand back to theirs and they let their hands back to close around hers as before.

**xXx**

They didn't wake up until the next morning which was unusual. Kayla woke up within a few hours more or less every night, and either one of them or both of them would wake up from her moving, and they would make sure that she wouldn't be alone.

When Blaine opened his eyes he knew that this was it. The sun was heating up the room through the window, a stream bathing them in light. Birds were chirping outside and an unfamiliar peace was filling their closed little space.

Kurt was resting his head against his shoulder. He was snoring lightly with his mouth slightly ajar, and his arms curled around Blaine's waist. He looked like he was sleeping better than he had been for over a year, since everything had turned black for them.

Blaine shuffled a little and Kurt moaned into his ear.

"It's time, honey," Blaine whispered, not really sure if he hoped for Kurt to be awake. He didn't want him to wake up to what had happened, but he didn't want to be alone either.

Kurt's eyes flew open and he sat straight up. He immediately looked to Kayla. Her eyes were closed and her arms were curled around her elephant. A curl had bewildered its way into her forehead and her mouth was slightly ajar, the way it always was when she was sleeping, just like Kurt.

Neither of them said anything, but tears started streaming down Kurt's cheeks. He turned to curl up against Blaine who put his arms around him in return. Tears soaked his own face and they stayed in each other's arms until their muscles were so sore that they nearly couldn't move anymore, a hope in the back of Blaine's mind that they would melt together to become statues instead. That way they wouldn't have to feel.


End file.
